How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
