i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
