Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
