: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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