i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
