He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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