And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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