grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
