i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize