That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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