So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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