i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
