Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize