And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
