i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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