Nicole vs. Life
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
