I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
