so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
