Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
