I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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