I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize