"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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