He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
