Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
