Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize