Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
