Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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