whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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