Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
