My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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