You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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