I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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