So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
