I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
