Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
