He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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