she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
