I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
