mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize