Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
