My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
