oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
