Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
