Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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