i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
