did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We had to coat check the pizza.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
