I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
