Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
