YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
