Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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