Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he was CRYING into my vagina
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
