matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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