im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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