You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize