I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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