I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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