you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize