It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
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If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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