that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
