I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
