I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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