he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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