So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
