Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
