She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
