yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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