i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
wow bdsm is so cute
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
