I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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