Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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