quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
