Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
