I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
